We live in a car-centric society, so I’ll use an analogy related to cars. You can’t expect to get very far in a car without fuel. Sometimes, depending on the type of car you have, you even have to stop and get more at a gas station.
Relationships are the same way. When working with people, your relationship is the gas in your tank for success. Even when things get tough, you can sometimes jump-start the growth process if you have a relationship with the client built on trust, honesty and good rapport.
Oftentimes, clients with extensive histories of being involved with the system will have experiences with many other “social work types.” Based on their past interactions with social workers, this means they might expect a certain bias or impulse from us as practitioners.
So, I challenge you, reader: What will you do to be different?
How will you break the cycle of ineffective social workers in someone’s life? Will you show up on time and be present? Will you engage someone based on their interests, not just their chart? How about staying away from those unfillable promises?
From my perspective, I prefer the instructor’s seat model. We don’t want to be in the driver’s seat—that is reserved for the client, who knows themselves best. We don’t want to be in the backseat because we might not be aware and present there. And nothing good ever comes from riding in the trunk.
Being in the passenger’s seat on someone’s journey means that you have the chance to be part of the solution—to challenge your client with crucial next steps. It is not enough just to know our clients. We also have to be able to predict their reaction to events and position ourselves correctly so we maintain the relationship for tomorrow.
It is important to also reevaluate the therapeutic relationship every so often to make sure everyone is on the same page and working toward the same goals. This saves the relational work we’ve already done to ensure there will be work to do in the future.
Of course, this all is precluded by nonjudgment. I choose to say this out loud to my clients so they know they can make the wrong decision sometimes and not have it affect how I view them.
Having a great relationship in theory means being able to notice patterns in behavior and be aware of cycles a person might go through. Having rapport in reality means being able to describe these observations and process them openly with your client.
As with many roads these days, there are often potholes—systematic barriers that affect your ability to get from point A to point B. In my mind, the biggest barrier to consistent and effective client relationships is burnout.
Burnout is real, and it affects the long-term trust capacity of a client. Some burnout is natural, especially if you’re consistently talking with someone about heavy topics. But unfortunately, burnout happens more often because there is a lack of attention given to the wellness of social workers as a whole. Constant social worker burnout over time may lead to turnover.
This is a huge problem because as a client, you are forced to build new relationships over and over again with someone who is paid to be there for you. While paid relationships have their place, they are limited by the appearance that someone is only there for you to collect a paycheck.
Especially under capitalism, there are certain limits to paid relationships. Connections can change abruptly based on financial incentives.
So, while the system in which we work leaves much to be desired, we have the power to alter our craft so that we are able to provide the best client outcomes possible.
And that starts with having enough gas in the tank—relationally and emotionally.